And now, to finally share with you all my origin story, the place where I was born. It all started in 1614, as the British started their totally welcome move into India. My father, or so I’ve been told, was a wealthy English trader and my mother was his cargo. Together they traveled to India, where my father intended on selling my mother for a hefty price. However, when they discovered she was pregnant after she had just given birth, she and the child were cast out into the jungle, where my now ex-mother was eaten by a pack of wolves.

The wolves, already full from eating a grown woman, decided to take me in as one of their own. They were pretty cool for wolves, my mother especially. While she was a mangy, sometimes harsh guardian, she did teach me how to howl and hunt, two skills that once I rejoined society went pretty much unused.

What is the point of this totally real, not made up story? To illustrate my point about how much we all love our mothers, regardless of what or who they are. They’ve done so much for you, other than being the conduit for your existence. It seems photographer Giedre Gomes also agrees with me and wants to shed some spotlight on the things mothers go through every day. With the help of her fellow mother friends, Giedre decided to take on this photography project to show what motherhood really looks like.

1. “Motherhood is being your kids’ entertainer.” Sometimes with kids, you have to be an airplane. I know, this may seem like a daunting task, especially if you don’t have a pilot’s license, but these are the risks you have to take as a mother. Don’t worry, I heard flying is safer than driving, so as long as you don’t pretend to be a car you’ll be good.

2. “Motherhood is breastfeeding whenever wherever.” As a mother, you have to be a good multitasker. Sure, breastfeeding while preparing a meal certainly is impressive, but she’s probably ALSO answering her kid’s questions. Why is the counter hard mommy? Cause it’s made of marble. Why is marble hard? Because it’s a rock. Mommy, why are rocks…

3. “Motherhood is never showering in peace.” As a mother, you never get to go to the bathroom alone, apparently. Not in my house, there needs to be a clear drawing of lines for boundaries. Then again, you wouldn’t want your kids running around getting into the drain-o while you’re sleeping in the shower. Here’s an idea: maybe never shower?

4. “Motherhood is being a maid.” Hey, at least you’ll always have help with the chores! As long as, you know, your kid doesn’t stand in the basket! Jeez, the kid is 2 years old already! When I was his age I was already HIDING in washing machines, let alone JUST learning how to hide in the basket! Millennials these days, they’re so entitled.

5. “Motherhood is trying to keep your kids alive.” It also means being good at catching. Better hit the field, you need to be the Cris Carter of catching kids if you’re going to play with the hyperactive little bra- I mean darlings! God forbid one of them falls off the couch and cracks their head… then again… the silence IS nice…

6. “Motherhood is not being able to call in sick.” Wait, wasn’t that a commercial? Yeah, it was for Tylenol or something, I remember it being a really smart ad campaign. Point is, kids haven’t developed empathy yet so even while you’re snotty, coughing and in pain, they’ll still be screaming in your ear and jumping on you and whatever.

7. “Motherhood is never ending laundry.” Sure, they could HELP with the chores every once in a while, or they could just stand in the basket. What’s with these kids and they’re bucket standing? Don’t you KNOW that’s where I have to put YOUR pukey, stinky clothes you pukey, stinky child?

8. “Motherhood is cooking with one hand.” No longer will you be able to cook with two hands. Oh, and also you’ll have to learn how to cook. AT LEAST learn how to make grilled cheese. That’s what kids eat, right? Grilled cheese? It’s got all your components of a balanced dinner, your cheese, your grilled, your butter. Everything a growing kid needs!

9. “Motherhood is breastfeeding on demand.” Yeah, see? I told you that kid was definitely pelting her with a litany of questions. Bless her soul, she hasn’t been driven mad by them yet! Then again, give it a couple years, they look pretty young. Soon she’ll look like the insane cat lady from the Simpsons, throwing cats and babbling in tongues.

10. “Motherhood Is Being A Nurse Or Wiping Kids’ Noses With Your Shirt.” You’ll be cleaning up a lot of messes, that’s for sure. From on the face to on the ground to worst of all– in the bathroom. Ooh, I shudder just to think of it. Just makes me think of that scene from Daddy Day Care. Two words a parent never wants to hear: “I missed”.



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